Sorry about the vent.
I was having a really crap time (obviously)

Erm, so, I've worked some things out, let others go... accepted a bunch...

But to be honest I'm still mostly empty. I feel really incomplete right now. I've really been opening up to my friend M'Lisa, which is a big deal, and I think she knows more than anyone else does right now. Not everything about me, just what I'm currently thinking and feeling.

I'm really trying to do some serious soul searching while still maintaining my good grades. Unfortunately I'm not getting much accomplished as far as the Search Party thing is going, though school work is still going good.

Good things: My artwork in art has actually been really good! Seriously something for me to be proud of, especially because I've used my right (tremors) hand for most of it, though the fine details required my left hand... and a bunch of erasing on both sides.
Been able to trust someone (M'Lisa), I feel like I'm starting to be able to open up to people again (I can hardly remember what that's like. I haven't been able to do that since the first half of first grade).
I'm being more social, despite not really knowing people.
I'm starting to write a bit more again. I've been studying "raw poetry", most of it written by Nuyeoricans (sp?) [new-your-ree-cans] which is a big eye opener. It's really not that clean. Very very raw stuff, and I've attempted to write something like that. My English teacher is really helping me, and she said she was impressed with how much potential I have. She said I'm right there on taking the next step and I was all "Really?" and she showed me the raw stuff.
I honestly didn't like the raw stuff at first. I dunno why, I just didn't. But it's starting to grow on me because I realize just how much courage it takes to write like that, let alone show it.